If you are a man or if there is a man or boy in your life whom you love or care about, you need to read the articles in this issue of HP magazine.
If you are a man or if there is a man or boy in your life whom you love, you need to read the articles in this issue of the magazine. It features articles written by members and supporters of the Canadian Centre for Men and Families (CCMF). The CCMF is perhaps the only organization in Canada that works for a healthy future for men, boys, and their families, by filling critical gaps in men’s services that reduce male suicide, empower fathers undergoing separation and divorce, and help men heal from trauma.
Most people seem to be unaware of the critical need for such services; services that have fortunately been provided for women, girls and their families for decades. It is wonderful that these support services have been made available for females and there is a need to have even more provided. However, it is unfortunate that men have been overlooked as being equally in need. There are many reasons why men and boys in society have not been on the radar of people and organizations that provide this support.
For example, we hear much about spousal abuse. This is a reality that has inspired the creation of needed shelters and other support services for women and girls. But it is sad that spousal abuse is seen as being suffered almost always by women. Society tends to view women as the victims of spousal violence and men as the abusers. This is a false narrative and public awareness needs to be raised about the fact that studies (see Statistics Canada and other sources) show women commit physical and mental abuse as often, or almost as often, as do men. Men are abused in same sex relationships as well. How has this abuse of men gone unnoticed?
It is largely due to the fact that most men suffer in silence, as some women do when they feel there is no one to believe them, to help them or to provide refuge. Men are more embarrassed to reveal that they have been beaten or otherwise abused by their spouse. If men do report family violence to the authorities, it is they who are automatically removed from the home and cast out onto the streets with nowhere to go. Then when the couple breaks up, the courts almost always grant child custody to the woman, and the male partner pays support without having equal access to his children. Knowing this and fearing to leave any children with an abusive spouse, men are even less likely to report the abuse, and instead, try to somehow make an intolerable situation work.
Men suffer if they stay in an abusive relationship or if they leave. Where can men turn for help? There are counselling services available for women in distress and this is much needed, but there is little available for men. With no social support for their mental health and nowhere to receive assistance with housing, financial matters, etc., 75% of suicides are male.
We can be thankful that most people are self-sufficient and have empathy and love for their spouses, partners and children. However, both men and women can fall through the cracks in society or end up in a relationship that results in them needing support from the community.
I have provided just a sampling of the astonishing lack of support for men, boys and their families that you will read about in this issue of HP magazine. You will also gain an understanding of how the relationship between males, females and society has evolved over time.
I encourage you to visit the CCMF website and consider donating or volunteering some time towards the essential services it provides. Go to… https://menandfamilies.org/.